6 Months Into Probate and Feeling Stuck? How to Regain Control

You started with momentum. Filed the will, opened the estate account, notified the right people. You thought you'd be done by now.

Instead, you're six months in and it feels like nothing is happening. The house hasn't sold. The tax clearance hasn't come through. Every time you check in with the attorney, there's another delay you didn't anticipate.

Meanwhile, your family keeps asking when this will be over—and you don't have an answer.

Welcome to the messy middle of probate. It's real, it's frustrating, and you're not alone.

Why Probate Feels Stuck

The early weeks of executor duty are busy. There's always something urgent: death certificates to order, accounts to notify, documents to gather. Progress is visible.

Then you hit the waiting phase.

Creditor claims periods take time. Most states require 4-6 months for creditors to come forward. You can't distribute assets until this window closes. It feels like nothing is happening because legally, you're required to wait.

Tax clearance isn't instant. Filing the deceased's final tax return is one thing. Getting IRS clearance—especially for larger estates—can take months. You're not stuck; you're in a queue.

Real estate moves slowly. Listing, showing, negotiating, inspecting, closing. A property sale can easily add 3-6 months to your timeline, and that's if everything goes smoothly.

Court calendars are backed up. Probate courts are often understaffed. Hearings get scheduled months out. Approvals take longer than they should.

Complications multiply. A missing document. A creditor dispute. A beneficiary who won't respond. One small issue creates weeks of delay.

Here's the hard truth: the average estate takes 12-18 months to settle. If you're at month six and feeling stuck, you're likely not even halfway done.

That's not failure. That's normal.

Signs You're Actually On Track

Before you spiral into worry, check this list. If most of these are true, you're doing fine—even if it doesn't feel like it:

• ✓ The will has been filed with probate court
• ✓ You have Letters Testamentary (or equivalent in your state)
• ✓ An estate bank account is open and being used for estate expenses
• ✓ Known creditors have been notified
• ✓ You're in contact with a probate attorney (even occasionally)
• ✓ Major assets are secured and insured
• ✓ You've filed or are preparing the deceased's final tax return

If you've done these things, you're not stuck. You're in the waiting phase that every estate goes through.

The problem isn't usually that you've missed something. It's that the waiting feels endless—especially when family keeps asking for updates you don't have.

The Hidden Problem Making Everything Harder

Here's what most mid-process executors don't realize: the probate tasks aren't what's draining you. The communication is.

Think about your last month:

• How many times did you explain the timeline to a family member?
• How many calls were just "checking in" with no new information to share?
• How many times did you say "I'm waiting on the attorney" or "still waiting for the IRS"?

When you're in reactive communication mode—answering questions as they come, repeating the same status updates, managing individual anxieties—you burn energy without making progress.

Worse, inconsistent communication creates its own problems. When family members get different information at different times, misunderstandings multiply. One sibling thinks the house is selling next month. Another heard it might take until spring. A third wonders why nobody told them anything.

This isn't just exhausting for you. It's breeding ground for family tension.

People don't fight because they're greedy or impatient. They fight because they're anxious and uninformed. When everyone has the same information at the same time, there's nothing to misinterpret. Nothing to feel excluded from. Nothing to speculate about.

The fastest way to reduce family conflict mid-probate? Radical transparency.

How to Regain Control: Proactive Transparency

The shift is simple but powerful: stop waiting for questions and start pushing information out.

Set a regular update schedule.

Pick a day—every Sunday, every other Friday, whatever works. On that day, send an update to all beneficiaries whether or not anything significant happened.

"This week: Still waiting on tax clearance from IRS (expected 4-6 more weeks). House showing scheduled for Thursday. No other changes."

That's it. Thirty seconds to write, and it eliminates a week's worth of "any news?" calls.

Make the timeline visible.

Family anxiety peaks when people can't see the path forward. Create a simple timeline showing:

• What's been completed
• What you're currently waiting on
• What comes next
• Estimated completion (even if it's a range)

When beneficiaries can see the whole picture, they stop asking about individual pieces.

Give everyone the same information.

This is critical for preventing family tension. When you tell one sibling something on Tuesday and another hears a slightly different version on Thursday, you've created a problem.

A shared dashboard or group update ensures everyone sees exactly the same status at exactly the same time. No telephone game. No "why didn't you tell me?" No room for misinterpretation.

Let people self-serve answers.

Most questions aren't complex. "When does the creditor period end?" "What's the house listed at?" "Have taxes been filed?"

If this information lives in a shared space—a portal, a shared document, even a regularly updated email—people can find answers without calling you.

Tools That Help You See (and Share) the Full Picture

You don't need fancy software, but the right tools make proactive communication much easier.

At minimum, you need:

• A single place where all estate information lives
• A way to share status with multiple people at once
• A timeline or milestone tracker you can point people to
• Document storage that beneficiaries can access

Options range from simple to sophisticated:

DIY approach: A shared Google Drive folder with a status document you update weekly. Free, but requires discipline and doesn't scale well if family dynamics are complicated.

Dedicated estate tools: Platforms like HeirPortal are built specifically for this. Create an estate, invite beneficiaries, and post updates to a shared dashboard. Everyone sees the same timeline, milestones, and documents. Questions come through one channel instead of scattered calls and texts.

The right tool depends on your family's complexity and your own capacity. What matters is having something—because managing by phone calls and memory isn't sustainable for 12+ months.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it normal to feel like I have no idea what I'm doing at this point?

Yes. Executor duty has a steep learning curve, and the middle months are when imposter syndrome peaks. You've handled the obvious tasks; now you're navigating nuance. Feeling uncertain doesn't mean you're failing.

Should I be worried if my attorney isn't responding quickly?

Probate attorneys juggle many cases. Slow responses are frustrating but usually not alarming. If you're waiting more than a week on something time-sensitive, follow up firmly. For routine matters, build in buffer time for responses.

How do I handle a beneficiary who's constantly asking for updates?

Redirect them to your system. "I send updates every Sunday—you'll see the latest there." If they keep calling, be direct: "I don't have new information since the last update. I promise I'll share news as soon as there's something to share."

What if I genuinely am stuck—not just waiting?

If something is actually blocking progress (a missing document, an unresponsive party, a legal complication), escalate it. Talk to your attorney about options. Some problems need active intervention, not just patience.

Can I bring in help at this stage, or is it too late?

It's never too late. If you're drowning, consider hiring a professional fiduciary to assist, bringing in a co-executor if the will allows, or simply delegating more to your attorney. Asking for help mid-process is smart, not shameful.

How do I explain to family why this is taking so long?

Be honest and specific. "Probate takes 12-18 months on average. We're at month six. The current delay is waiting for IRS tax clearance, which typically takes 3-4 months. Here's what happens after that clears." Concrete information reduces anxiety better than vague reassurances.

The messy middle of probate is hard. You're past the adrenaline of the early weeks but nowhere near the finish line. The key to getting through it isn't working harder—it's communicating smarter. Keep your family informed, keep yourself organized, and remember: waiting isn't the same as failing.