Just Named Executor? What to Do First (And What Can Wait)

Someone you loved has died, and now you're the executor.

You might be holding a folder of papers you don't understand. Your phone is ringing with questions you can't answer. There's a funeral to plan, grief to process, and somehow you're also supposed to figure out probate courts and tax filings and asset inventories.

Take a breath. You're not alone in feeling overwhelmed—this is genuinely hard. And here's something nobody tells you: most of it can wait.

This guide isn't a comprehensive manual (we have one of those). This is triage. What actually needs to happen now, what can wait until next week, and how to avoid the early mistakes that make everything harder later.

The First 48 Hours: Only Four Things Matter

Right now, your job is not to settle the estate. Your job is to stabilize the situation and take care of yourself.

1. Secure the home and valuables.

If the deceased lived alone, make sure their home is locked and secure. Check that mail isn't piling up visibly. If there are obvious valuables, consider moving them somewhere safe or ensuring the home is alarmed.

You don't need to inventory everything yet. You just need to prevent problems.

2. Locate the will (if you don't have it).

Check the deceased's home—filing cabinets, safe, desk drawers. Check with their attorney if they had one. Check their safe deposit box (though accessing this may require legal steps).

If you can't find it in 48 hours, that's okay. Keep looking, but don't panic. Many estates proceed even when the original will takes time to locate.

3. Get multiple death certificates.

Order at least 10-15 certified copies. Every bank, insurance company, and government agency will want an original. You can order these through the funeral home or directly from the vital records office.

This is the one task worth over-ordering on. Running out of death certificates later creates delays.

4. Tell close family what's happening.

You don't need a formal announcement. Just let immediate family know you're the executor and that you'll share information as you have it. Set expectations early: "I'm still figuring things out. I'll keep everyone updated as I learn more."

That's it. Everything else can wait 48 hours.

The First Week: Building Your Foundation

Once the immediate dust settles, you can start building the foundation for the months ahead. None of this is urgent on day one—but by the end of week one, you'll want progress on these:

Decide if you need an attorney.

For simple estates (no real estate, no family conflict, modest assets), you might handle probate yourself. For anything more complex, a probate attorney is worth the investment. Most offer free consultations.

A few hundred dollars in legal guidance now prevents thousands in mistakes later.

Start gathering documents.

You don't need everything yet, but start collecting:

• Financial statements (bank accounts, investments)
• Insurance policies
• Property deeds or mortgage documents
• Recent tax returns
• Bills and debts you're aware of

A shoebox or folder is fine for now. Organization comes later.

Open an estate bank account.

You'll need a dedicated account to pay estate expenses and eventually receive estate funds. This requires an EIN (tax ID number for the estate), which you can get free from the IRS website in about 15 minutes.

Don't mix estate money with your personal accounts. Ever.

Notify key institutions.

Banks, credit card companies, and Social Security need to know about the death. You don't need to close accounts yet—just notify them. This prevents fraud and starts the process.

What Can Actually Wait (Permission to Breathe)

New executors often feel like everything is urgent. It's not. Here's what can genuinely wait:

Distributing assets: This happens at the end, not the beginning. Beneficiaries might be eager, but distributions typically come 12-18 months after death. Anyone pressuring you for immediate inheritance doesn't understand the process.

Selling property: Unless there's an urgent reason (carrying costs you can't afford, property at risk), real estate sales can wait until you understand the full picture.

Detailed inventory and appraisals: You'll need these eventually, but not in week one. A rough sense of what exists is enough for now.

Filing with probate court: Most states give you 30-90 days. Use that time to get organized rather than rushing to file.

Making permanent decisions: Don't cancel leases, sell cars, or dispose of belongings in the first week. Give yourself time to understand what you're working with.

The probate process takes 12-24 months. You don't need to solve everything in the first seven days.

The One Thing That Will Save Your Sanity

Here's what experienced executors wish they'd known from day one: the hardest part isn't the paperwork. It's the communication.

Every family member wants updates. Every cousin has questions. Every sibling wonders why things are taking so long. You'll find yourself explaining the same timeline, answering the same questions, and managing the same anxieties—over and over.

Set up a communication system immediately.

This doesn't need to be fancy. What matters is having one place where everyone gets information:

• A shared family dashboard where you post updates
• A group email you send weekly
• A dedicated time for family calls ("I'll update everyone Sunday evenings")

The format matters less than the consistency. When families know where to find information and when to expect it, the "just checking in" calls drop dramatically.

What to communicate early:

• "I'm the executor and I'm getting organized."
• "The probate process typically takes 12-18 months."
• "I'll share updates [weekly/biweekly] through [method]."
• "Please direct questions to [single channel] so I can answer everyone at once."

This isn't cold—it's kind. Clear communication reduces everyone's anxiety, including yours.

Don't Reinvent the Wheel on Deadlines

One of the most stressful parts of being a new executor is figuring out what's due when—and every state has different rules. Filing deadlines, creditor notice periods, and tax requirements vary significantly depending on where the deceased lived.

The good news: you don't have to research all of this yourself.

Tools like HeirPortal automatically generate state-specific timelines and deadlines when you set up an estate. Enter the deceased's state of residence, and the system populates the key milestones and legal deadlines you need to track. No Googling "[your state] probate filing deadline" at midnight.

This means you can focus on the actual work—gathering documents, communicating with family, working with your attorney—instead of becoming an amateur legal researcher.

Early Mistakes to Avoid

These are the errors that create headaches months down the road:

Spending your own money on estate expenses.

Pay estate bills from estate accounts, not your personal funds. Yes, you can reimburse yourself later—but it creates accounting complexity and potential disputes. Wait until the estate account is open.

Making promises about inheritance.

"You'll get Dad's watch" or "The house should sell for $400,000" might feel helpful in the moment. But circumstances change, and promises create expectations you may not be able to keep. Stay vague until you're certain.

Throwing things away too quickly.

That box of "junk" might contain important documents. Those old files might have tax records you'll need. Unless something is obviously trash, keep it until you've had time to review thoroughly.

Going it alone when you need help.

Asking for help isn't weakness—it's wisdom. Co-executors, attorneys, accountants, and even family members can share the load. You don't get extra credit for suffering through this solo.

Neglecting yourself.

You're grieving too. Executor duties can become an unhealthy distraction from processing loss, or they can compound your stress until you burn out. Take breaks. Ask for help. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

Frequently Asked Questions

What if I don't want to be executor?

You can decline, and it's okay to do so. Notify the probate court or the attorney handling the estate before proceedings begin. The will usually names an alternate, or the court will appoint someone.

Declining early is far better than accepting and struggling later.

Do I need a lawyer?

For simple estates with no real estate, no conflicts, and straightforward assets—maybe not. For anything more complex, yes. A probate attorney typically costs $2,000-5,000 for standard estates and prevents much more expensive mistakes.

When in doubt, at least get a consultation.

Does probate work differently in my state?

Yes—every state has different filing deadlines, creditor notice periods, and procedural requirements. What works in Texas might not apply in California. This is why generic advice only gets you so far.

HeirPortal provides state-specific probate guidance for all 50 states, with tailored timelines and deadlines based on where the deceased lived. When you create an estate, the relevant deadlines are automatically populated for your state.

How do I get paid for this work?

Executors are entitled to compensation—typically 1-5% of the estate value, depending on your state. This comes from estate funds, not from beneficiaries directly. Many family executors waive compensation, but you're not obligated to work for free.

What if family members are already fighting?

Document everything. Communicate in writing. Treat everyone equally regardless of personal relationships. If conflict escalates, involve your attorney early—it's much cheaper than litigation later.

How do I handle someone pressuring me for their inheritance?

Explain the timeline clearly: "Distributions happen after debts are paid, taxes are filed, and the court approves—typically 12-18 months." You're not being difficult; you're following the law. If pressure continues, your attorney can send a formal letter explaining the process.

What's the single most important thing I can do right now?

Be kind to yourself. You didn't ask for this responsibility during one of the hardest times of your life. You'll make mistakes. You'll feel overwhelmed. That's normal.

The estate will get settled. The process will end. Give yourself grace along the way.

Being named executor is one of the most significant responsibilities someone can give you. It's also one of the hardest. Take it one step at a time, ask for help when you need it, and remember: you don't have to figure it all out today.